My Valentine

Most of you may want to just skip this post, because it just might make you gag. I know guys aren't supposed to talk about feelings and stuff, but today is Valentines day and I didn't get my wife anything. (Don't worry, she told me not to and meant it -- yet another cool thing about her.) So I thought I'd be very un-guy-like in my blog. So if you want to see me as a man's man of the most macho variety, then just stop reading now.

I dont' think she believes me when I tell her this, but I am still amazed by Alissa's beauty. You know how fire is so fascinating that you can just get lost staring at it. Her eyes are the same way to me. But after over 11 years with this woman, including almost 8 years of wedded bliss, I have grown to love her in ways that I couldn't possibly have imagined back on December 26, 1995 when I asked her out for the first time. (Yes, I know the date without even having to ask. If ever competing for a best husband award, that's going to be the first thing I bring up!)

I never could have imagined that my love for someone would increase because of someone else's love for that same person. But when I see how much my little girl loves her Mommy, I can't help but fall in love with her a little bit more.

I never could have imagined how much I would NEED her in my life. When my frustrations with ministry and my changing views on theology start to wreak havoc on my emotional peace, she can unfailingly calm. Sometimes its just by listening to a bunch of incredibly boring (to her) things that I need to get off of my chest. Sometimes its by joining me on the journey to discovery. Sometimes its by forcing me to go play with my daughter so that I'll regain my perspective. (Yes, sometimes I have to be forced, I'm ashamed to say.) Whichever tactic she chooses, I don't think I could get through some of my frustrations while maintaining my sanity without her.

I love how she loves her family.

I love how she has learned to embrace being a minister's wife, even though it has always been more my calling than hers. It hasn't been fair to her, but she has never wavered in her support of me. I can't possibly tell you how touching that is to me.

I love watching TV with her. Shows are SO much better when she's watching them with me.

I love how she will be brutally honest with me. When I've preached a sermon and everyone else is shaking my hand and complimenting me and she walks by and just says "Eh," I know the truth. And I love it that she does that! It just makes me better!

I love to hear her sing. She reminds me why the human voice is the greatest instrument on earth.

I love to hear her laugh, especially that adoring laugh that comes when Abbie does something cute.

So there you go. I'm still in love.

My next post will be of a more manly variety. I promise.